troyler147

stunningpicture:

Was playing around with my camera and some broken glass, and I captured this. (OC)

(via myunimportantramblings)

“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.”

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via hefuckin)

(Source: slambien, via officialnatasharomanoff)

(Source: weheartit.com, via flowerfrick)

(Source: littleharleythings, via spookyclaire)

hey guys
guys
did you know that I’m in a whole other league
because apparently I am

trixyfaerie:

jshillingford:

Stunning photography by Margarita Kareva. See more here.

Oh my! 😍

(via creasetoefurr)

"I don’t Instagram pictures of myself for people to be like ‘Wow, that looks really sexy,’ I take pictures of cute kittens, or when the ocean looks nice, or of a funny sign I saw in an airport."

(Source: s-wift, via clintsbishop)

  • me making decisions in video games: *thoroughly researches consequences, reads multiple walkthroughs, explores every other course of action in detail*
  • me making decisions in real life: well what's the worse that could happen

pulpfanfiction:

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SOMEDAY YOU MIGHT WAKE UP TO SOMEONE YOU REALLY LOVE’S SLEEPY SMILE AND GO THROUGH YOUR MORNING ROUTINE WITH THEM

(Source: mariokartsixtyfour, via holytoetouchblaine)

(Source: christinaperrilove, via thepurebloodprincess)

after conducting legit scientific experiments I can confirm that wearing liquid eyeliner makes you feel hella rad and like you have the potential to be a pin up model

markoruffalo:

batmasterson:

That sounds cool. BUT HOW DOES IT WORK?

(Helicarrier Hulk wakes up, no control, attacks everyone. New York Hulk is good guy buddy only hurt bad guy. Wait! OK! Loki was harshing the vibe on the helicarrier. No, wait further, Loki was just as there in New York. In fact, quite close to Mr. Grabby Hulk.)

I am continually drawn to this dumb film by the interaction between Downey and Ruffalo. I am continually put off by this dumb film by how dumb it is.

Wow, look at this! It’s 2014, and people are still saying things like this! Amazing!!! :D Here, let me explain to you why, and how:

First of all, why do people keep forgetting that The Incredible Hulk happened?? In that film it was shown that Bruce can actually control the Hulk when he deliberately hulks out.

Please notice that Bruce hulked out on the helicarrier because something blew up and he was thrown so hard he fell one floor down through the window. It was obvious that Bruce was hurt and in danger.

Hulk exists to protect Bruce, Bruce was in danger, you do the math.

Not to mention that Bruce was understandably angry at Natasha and Fury because he felt like they’d lied to him. (Therefore, causing Hulk to went after Natasha).

Manhattan Hulk showed up because Bruce ‘asked’ him to. Because he fucking did it on purpose. The Hulk is the physical manifestation of Bruce’s emotions — all his anger, frustration, empathy, sadness, disappointment, sympathy, love, hate, everything. That’s why Hulk knew which were the bad ones and which were the good ones, that’s why he saved Tony from falling off the sky, that’s why he listened to Steve’s orders. Hulk isn’t just some mindless beast who has no feelings whatsoever. He recognised and saved Betty in the midst of his rampage in TIH, looked hesitant when he saw the fear in Natasha’s eyes (it was brief but it was there), punched Thor as a payback, etc. Hulk is not that simple.

Bottom line is, that Bruce can control the Hulk to some degree when he has the option or actually gets to choose, and that’s not what happened on the helicarrier.

So, yea, that’s how.